My buried heart

A crack echoes,  its loudness a slice through the pungent air
It takes me but a second to realize it's the sound my own heart makes in the wake of its break.

The pools of wetness at my finger tips threaten to drown even my brightest of dreams all in the wake of my rape

My emotions swirl in morbid horrow at the soles of my feet, a raw hide stripped of all protection and beaten to death by cat o nine.

I hear a hoarseness emanate as a cry leaves my stomach. The person I am, I was, no more.

My face streams with tears beckoning the abandonment of all reason from my mind. I can see the edge,  feel it, breathe it. I am the edge.

I catch it as it falls, my heart, hunched over and bent from rape and with the last of my tears I transformed it; my buried heart

My Darkness

Even after hurting, after crying,
You still feel, that's what I like about you

The rain falling on a window pane
It falls still, ever there, until it feels like of course
Not caring that you with your umbrellas despise the very sight
Not caring that mother's hurt for their hands at just the sight
It falls
Still pushing still caring still raining
just like you

Your blows, your insults fall
the pitter patter of the rain against the pane
growing louder angrier more aggressive
but still it rains and still you pour

and the darkness of the sky, the darkness on my dark skin matters not
because my darkness is too dark for your liking
my dark is not the ruby red of blood
because my dark is not the picture of life leaving my body
my dark is a queen, my dark is a king
and it belittles you

So you cast me and my darkness to the side
you cast us to do your bidding
but its not enough, never enough, no
you bend the darkness of our backs and our necks into submission
submission only to you and the love the celebration of you
and you still feel that's what I like about you

the hatred which feeds your power
is the same hatred you should feel as you walk on the backs of the roads we built
as you flip the switch of the light made from the blackness in our blood
as you walk in your cotton blouse and trousers feel the black as it rubs against your legs, your breasts
and despise it

In the same breath, despise the sun the very beacon
for as it sets in the dusk, it rises in the dawn
its greatness a shine on the colourless complexion of your skin

The cry for help never sings loudly in the night but echos in loud silence

The path but a lonely emblem of what's to come
the stars a glitter of dim hope
but she walks,
her footsteps the only noise
her footsteps a rustle in the grass
but she walks

a tear slides down her face
one, two,three, four, a rain
like silver droplets running down the window on a rainy day

the silence of her tears a mirror,
a paradox to the true hurt she feels
a silent muffled cry for help
in the midst of the loud silence of the night

But the noise of the silence heightens
engulfing self as it seeks to gallop through the night
its embrace an aggressive drag
pulling and pulling until it releases the loud silent scream for help
tearing, ripping
breaking the dead silence of the night

A quiet sob escapes
the highest sound in the fight of it all
and all that is left is a ragged body
left raw in its wake
a ragged body, a battered soul

IN SIGNIFICANCE

my insignificance renders me absolute
absolute in the face of your importance
in the face of all that matters
in the face of my dreams

and my dreams?
rendered absolute for in my absoluteness i am nothing
my fears, my indiscretion, my interests, all no longer matter
all rendered absolute by my insignificance
my insignificance, in the midst of it all

having been rendered insignificant, the question i ask
do i dare to dream, dare to think, dare to be, dare to pursue
all i consider lost? do you dare?

the insignificance of my existence fails,
but never fails to appreciate, to feel the caress,
the significance of the breeze, the kiss of the sun against my skin
But it ceases to matter and all because of my insignificance

Th insignificance of being insignificant
teaches you the significance of all considered insignificant
and you learn to appreciate, value, understand
have you learnt?

The insignificance of being insignificant
makes you more important than the most significant person
why? because you appreciate
you've been brought down to a level of insignificance,
which the most significant person will never appreciate

Your insignificance enables you, empowers you
empowers you to serve
to experience first hand, the effect of your insignificance
the effect of your in-significance
For you are SIGNIFICANT

So smile through your insignificance
feel the breeze caressing your skin and smile
feel the sun kisses upon your face and smile
For it is through this you are IN   SIGNIFICANCE

I dare to stare

One day while driving in the backseat of a car
I saw a woman
I dared to stare
I looked at her daring face and
I dared to stare her down
But instead of staring me down, she stared me up

I saw difficulty while driving a car
and I stared difficulty down
And instead of staring me up, difficulty stared me down
But I dared to stare

I saw difficulty while driving in the middle seat of a car
And I dared to stare
And difficulty stared

I saw you while driving in a passenger seat of a fast paced care
I dared to stare
I stared long and hard